Posted in Weight loss

My weight loss journey.

I started trying to lose weight at a very young age, too young to be honest. With so much focus on being “skinny” in the media, it’s not a surprise. By the time I was 15 I was starving myself in desperation to lose weight. I didn’t care about health, or fat vs muscle loss. I wanted to be thin, I wanted the number on the scale to go down, and I wanted it to happen overnight. Looking back now I wasn’t that overweight, maybe 10 pounds. I lost quite a lot, and once I couldn’t take starving anymore I gained it all back plus some. That, my friends, is where my journey started.

It’s been a long road since then, fad diets and yo-yoing. Eventually I started eating healthy, trying to eat “clean” as some call it. I would feel guilty if I enjoyed some fries, or a pastry. Often times I would do so good all week, only to go on some crazy binge on the weekend, sabotaging myself. I just couldn’t keep the weight off. Then I found out I was pregnant with my first child, and on came the pounds! When she was born I was weighing in at 250 pounds. The heaviest I’ve ever been. I was so unhappy with myself. Over the following 6 months, with healthy eating and a crazy amount of waking, I had lost 90 pounds. I finally felt comfortable in my own skin(a little.) I still had a bit more to lose but I was almost there. Fast forward about 9 months, my goal weight is within arms reach and SURPRISE! Baby #2 is on the way! I’m going to be completely honest here, I was not happy. Call it selfish, but I had worked so hard, I didn’t want to gain weight! For someone who struggled with eating disorders, pregnancy was frightening. I had c-sections for both of my children, and all I could think was how lucky I was losing weight so easily the first time. Don’t get me wrong though, I love both my girls more than anything, and would sacrifice having my goal body just to do it all over again if I had to. Just in the moment, I was horrified haha. I gained a lot of weight this time around too, weighing in at 230 when she was born. I’ve lost around 40 pounds so far, and going strong.

When it comes down to it, you have to be willing to work. There’s no magic diets or pills(wouldn’t that be nice!) It takes dedication and hard work if you want to lose weight AND keep it off! There have been plenty of times where I’ve lost motivation, felt like giving up. That’s okay, I’m sure we’ve all had those days(or weeks.) Don’t feel guilty if you fall off track, it happens to everyone, and tomorrow’s a new day.

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